Why Can’t Single Women Be “Busy”??

Like magic, it’s happening all around me. All of my friends, friends of friends, acquaintances, and coworkers are all beginning to either get married or reproduce.  Every week, I read a blog post, facebook notification, or NYT announcement about someone I know registering at some place where I cannot really afford to buy a gift.  Thank God I can crochet.  I’m about to give myself carpal tunnel, but at least it’s something!

It’s been a hell of a transition.  Whenever I’m listening to a story about prenatal water aerobics, mucus plugs, or wedding china, I cannot help but get a little teary eyed.  Not because I want to be with someone or have a kid to call my own (that’s a whole other story).  It’s just sad because, in my experience, the stories about babies and husbands and down payments mean the end of stories about hot dates, jello shots, stilettos, and the kama sutra. I still love jello shots, just not like I used to.

The thing that bothers me the most is the look of pity or condescension I get when I spend 7 minutes talking about my life after 29 minutes of listening to the differences between 4 different types of strollers. Oh, Kelly. I’m glad I’m not still dating. He didn’t call you back? You’re looking for a new apartment? I don’t know what I would do if I had all that time on my hands! It’s at that EXACT moment that I yearn to ask “Whatever happen to all those women you were dating last year? Have you ever told your husband about your lesbian phase?” But I hold it together, because I know that life changes are all-consuming and these are people I love, whose life choices I respect.

I just get the nagging little feeling that they don’t respect mine.  Being single is not a hobby.  It’s not something I do in my spare time like watching 2 Broke Girls. My life is 2 Broke Girls. Bitch, I’m busy! I don’t have time on my hands! I’m constantly working, looking for better job/apartment/boy.  There is no safety net for me. I make it or break it on my own.  Every day, I experience heartbreak.  I’m indigent and uneasy. AND FABULOUS.  I shouldn’t have to apologize; I don’t feel bad about it. And you shouldn’t feel bad that you have to go home to fix dinner for your hubby instead of going to a trendy spot with the girls.  Just listen and eventually make the time.  Having a baby or getting married is a big deal. I want to hear about it.

As long as you don’t judge the fact I’ll be having a margarita while I do!



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