Foolproof

This is the first week that began to feel like spring. I’m seeing all the obvious signs: flowers popping out of the ground, skirts being work without cableknit tights, and naturally…groups of twentysomethings anxiously anticipating “dating season.”

My best friend swears I’m a squirrel.  Every November, I get disgusted with men. I’m surely not going out into the cold for any man who I mildy suspect is a jackass. I would rather be inside with my flannel, hot toddy, and CSI.  Come spring, my outlook changes a bit. It’s impossible to be a bitch in a floral sundress. The weather, the ice coffee, the men without shirts, all convince me that I should give this thing called dating another go round.

That’s why I was tickled pink when I overheard the following conversation of 3 late twentysomethings in a BK coffee shop discussing how to catch a man for spring:

Girl 1: Oh God, it’s spring.

Girl 2: I can’t go through another sexless spring. Why are we always single?

Girl 3: I know! We are so cute! I would date you!

Girl 1: That’s not going to help.  This year we need a sure thing. A foolproof strategy to get us laid.

[The girls pause bewilderingly.]

Girl 3: …You mean besides showing skin and putting out?

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